Chic Cheeseboards for Badasses
Arranging food on a board can be just as badass as cooking.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s fine to make a meal out of a cheese board and a bottle of wine, as long as you serve dark chocolate after. That said, don’t make your cheeseboard a big deal. It’s totally legit to have only one good, well-chosen piece of cheese, particularly if you’re a small group with a meal ahead of you. Throw down what you have and snap your fingers like Sophia Loren.
WHAT YOU NEED:
A wooden board, the more rustic the better. But even if it’s just a plain old cutting board, as I often use, it will look glamorously delicious once you get it all decorated with food.
One or more pieces of good cheese. Mix goat’s, sheep’s, and cow’s milk cheeses for balance, and try to include one hard, one soft, and one semi-firm. I prefer goat’s milk and sheep’s milk cheeses because they’re easier to digest and they taste like Central Italy to me. Here’s a list of my favorite cheeses, commonly available at most supermarkets:
Manchego—sheep’s milk
Midnight Moon—sheep’s milk
Humboldt Fog—goat’s milk
Naked Goat—goat’s milk
Drunken Goat—goat’s milk
Goat Gouda—goat’s milk
Delice de Bourgogne—cow’s milk
Sharp WHITE Cheddar (no orange cheddar!)—cow’s milk
Fig Jam and/or Raw Honey: a hint of sweet pairs well with cheese. I always make a few crackers with jam or honey topped with cheese and pass them around at the start so no one overlooks this special addition.
Olives with pits: from an olive bar, not a can. Large Cerignola olives and bright Castelvetrano are my two favorite varieties, and I personally prefer olives that aren’t covered in oil and herbs. The pits preserve the flavor of the olive, and eating olives with pits is sexy, so put a little dish on the side for them!
Crackers: Most crackers work well on a cheese board, but some don’t. If they contain hydrogenated oil (like Ritz or other crackers you loved as a child), they’re a no-go. Look for thin, crispy, rustic-tasting crackers, perhaps infused with rosemary or black pepper. In the Meal and a Spiel world, it’s chic to put out delicious, seed-rich, gluten- free crackers, like Mary’s Gone Crackers or Jilz Crackers (which are paleo), since many people are sensitive to wheat or prefer a healthier alternative. Consider non-bread options like sliced pear or dried orange slices, which can easily be made by slicing oranges into 1⁄8 rounds and baking at 200 for 3 hours. Both make delightful vehicles for cheese.
Wine: Yes, please! You can rarely go wrong with a Chianti Classico or a Montepulciano D’Abruzzo. I also love a Nebbiolo on a cold winter night. For whites, try a Marlborough County Sauvignon Blanc, a Pinot Grigio, or a Prosecco al Amore.