Chill Out, It's Just A Dinner Party
The idea of throwing a dinner party can be intimidating. Even my most gifted students shudder to think that they’ll be responsible for a culinary performance that will be judged by their closest friends and relatives. They think: How can I make sure the dinner party will be flawless? My home isn’t set up for entertaining! How can I have everything done before guests arrive? How can I make it look effortless?
The short answer is: you can’t. And you don’t need to. The idea of throwing dinner parties to impress the neighbors is so 1950’s. We live in a different time. We make our own rules. It’s time for a new dinner party model.
The dinner party is simply an opportunity to share intimacy with new and old friends through homemade, love-infused food. It gives us a chance to share the vibes of our homes , and allows our friends to bring their warmth to us. We get to play music, let loose, maybe even get up and dance. It’s also a time to exchange our most important ideas and connect deeply with our fellow human beings. But most fundamentally, you throw a dinner party to have fun.
That said, how do we throw a dinner party when the Stepford Wife model is still hanging over our heads? A few things to keep in mind:
When it goes wrong, it goes right. You can’t make your dinner party flawless, so don’t try to. The fun doesn’t start until something goes wrong. Make it as elegant as you like, but don’e make it fancy. Nobody likes a stuffy party. Everybody remembers the party where you blew a fuse and ate by candlelight.
Invite your guests to pitch in. Dinner parties don’t need to look effortless. In fact, the fun is in the collective effort. Your friends want to help out! Get everyone involved, slicing bread,setting the table, lighting candles, serving prosecco to the newly arrived, passing appetizers or desserts. That way they feel they own the party as much as you do, and the feel of the soirée will be less “you and them” and more “all of us”, creating a magical evening together. There isn’t a dinner party of mine when everyone doesn’t applaud when we finally get the food to the table. The collaboration makes us proud and joyous that it’s time to eat.
Plan ahead. You’ll never have everything done ahead of time, bu there are certain meals that you can prep early so you can spend more time relaxing with guests. If you absolutely must, you can hire someone to help out during the party but I personally prefer to have a staff-free evening so the gathering stays intimate. (However, I do love to have someone come to clean in the morning!)
Your place is perfect! You don’t need a grand palace to entertain. Most Europeans don’t live in the villas you see in the movies. In cities, they often have small apartments with galley kitchens. It doesn’t stop them from eating together with friends. Light candles, play music, cook your heart out and let the close quarters add to the intimacy and sexiness of the night.
Stop treating every dinner party like you’re trying to impress your mother-in-law. She doesn’t want to be impressed anymore. She wants to have fun!